Break Open

I had a complete breakdown this month.

For the month of April, our Infused Intention was Surrender, and I was working a lot to surrender to the conditions of my life.

As you may know by now, my husband has a fourth stage cancer diagnosis, and we're working with these circumstances in our lives. It's been a really big challenge to work with the medical model, the energetic model, the spiritual model and all the ways that we like to bring it together.

What I have found especially challenging is working with the medical model with scheduling and all of the restrictions that we now have in this world in which we live.

Well, let me just say that I hit a wall one day. I was working to get a lot of things scheduled for my husband and I literally hit a wall.

When I realized that I couldn't do what I wanted to do for my husband's best interest in his current medical situation, I broke down. I like, totally came apart, broke apart.

In fact, I had this primal scream come out of my body in a way that I have never had happen. All of that stored up energy that had been in there--the frustration, sadness, grief, the desire for him to be well, the overwhelm of all of the things that I do with running the company and supporting my husband as a 24/7 caretaker.

It came screaming out of my body in a way that did not even sound human. it was this wail that started really low in my body, and it came up and I felt it splitting me open; I literally felt myself breaking open as it happened.

Oh, just thinking about it now just makes me take a huge breath.

All of that pent up stuff came out; my body couldn't hold it in any more. It was time for me to release those stored emotions of grief, sadness, loss, denial, frustration, complete helplessness, and hopelessness sometimes, over the situation.

Man, that's a lot of stuff that I had stored in there. It was time for it to go. I had no mental function at that time. This was primal. This was a basic explosion (or expulsion) of these trapped emotions, feelings, thoughts, memories, and traumas from my body. I broke open and it went out.

Now I'm sharing this with you because this may be happening to you. For crying out loud, the energies that we have had coming in for the last two years, and especially in 2022, have been so high frequency that they are coming in to these beautiful body suits of ours and they're coming in.

These energies are raising the frequency of our body suits; it has a certain frequency about it and these higher frequencies are coming in.

We are compressed energy and this matter that is our body suit gets to up level along with the rest of us as we are going from 3D to 5D. It's exhausting on your body. It's something that it hasn't had to do to this degree before.

What I found was, especially being in the month of surrender with my intentions, that I was ready to let this stuff go. I mean, had I been a little more intentional about it, perhaps it could have come out in smaller portions or a little more delicately or with grace, but no, it exploded forth.

I'm telling you about my experience so that you can have a little more intention about the stuff that is happening; the light codes are coming in and your frequency is rising.

There is shadow that we are processing. You're processing your own shadow, you're processing shadow for the collective, and we are working for all of humankind right now.

Since 2013, I have been working on energies for all woman kind. I have been running the energies in the shadows, in the grief and the loss, abandonment, and trauma of womanhood for eight years now. And I've been doing it very intentionally.

A lot of what came up for me was the pain and the readiness for that trauma to release.

I want to share the four awarenesses that came out as a result of this primal scream from me and from the divine feminine:

1. My first awareness was stop and think about what I need. I invite you to do that.
2. My second awareness was that I automatically think of others first. That's not working for me so well anymore. I automatically think of women, or of others, first. These are very much the burdens of womanhood; that the feminine has carried for centuries (and really millennia).
3. Now, my third awareness, even after I realized I was missing my training (that's part of the other story), I did not stop to course correct my actions. So in the middle of this break open, or break down, I was missing something that was really important to me, and I still did not stand up and set a boundary for myself.
4. And my fourth awareness is that it's okay to say "no". I get to say "no" when something is happening, and I need to take care of myself. I get to do that.

So these four awarenesses that came forth are very much the burden of womanhood that we have been carrying for way too long. If you are a woman, or if you express a lot of divine feminine in your being, I invite you to take a look at these.

Refer to the list above so that you can have an awareness that you are tending to yourself, and to your divine feminine, so that you do not have to have this explosive break open like I did.

I'm Connie Kean with Quantum Energy Infusion--where Everything is Energy!

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