We celebrated her well

We did it! We celebrated mom's life all weekend.

Both of my adult children came in, the two grandchildren, lots of cousins, couple of aunts, and we had a wonderful; there were four events this weekend that were all focused around my mother. A memorial service, a big celebration of life party, where we were able to share really beautiful food. There was something for everybody. We had gluten free, we had vegan, we had mimosas that were alcohol free, and had three different kinds of fruit juice. I mean, it was beautiful. It was a beautiful celebration of my mother. We had over 100 people there. It was such a great party and my mom loved to throw parties and to entertain, and she was able to do it for all of us and was with all of us.

There were a lot of emotions this weekend. My five and seven year old grandchildren really felt the loss of their Mimi, and especially staying here in her home. It was so obvious to them that Mimi wasn't here and then they wanted to know why we couldn't just keep the house even though Mimi wasn't here because we love being here so much. So we had a lot of deep, hard conversations. We were able also to be with the children as they process their feelings around it and we were able to be with each other. Because I mean, I really fell apart a few times like, like I was done. I had done everything I could and all of a sudden, I had nothing left. I was able to cry and to really let those emotions, those huge emotions, royal through me. I'm really grateful that I was able to do that and my children, my adult children, were there to hug me and to get me through the worst of it. It was magnificent.

And yeah, it hurts and that's part of it, and when we understand that it's okay to hurt, that it's energy and that energy will pass. Then it's not so scary because sometimes it's terrifying, sometimes it's suffocating, and sometimes all I can do is be a couch potato. Sometimes all I could do was sit in a stupor because I was done. I had no more mental function. I had no more emotional capacity. I was done, and it was okay because we were all done and we were together. That's what really mattered, and family was so important to mom. We were able to all be here together in the beautiful space that she created in this gorgeous home, and we felt her, we felt my mother and my father's presence here as we were doing the hard things. I'm so grateful that we are all healthy and able to be here and celebrate their lives and celebrate the love that we have for each other and how it will be ongoing into the future. There's three generations now of us instead of four, and that's okay, because the fourth generation is watching. They're watching from beyond the veil and it's lovely to know that they're here with us in spirit.